Naziara's World

Movie week

It was a movie week for me last week....Never before have I watched more than 1 movie in a week.

Last saturday was hilarious...

Then Monday nite was a good, serious and hot...

Then Saturday again at 5.15pm was a very touching...

And to end the week on the same saturday at 9.15pm...powerful performances by the

That's about all the movies I wanna watch at last week's openings. Its very rare that good movies open at the same period. I'm one satisfied movie goer...oh and baby too, so that makes 2 satisfied movie goers.

Yesterday

Jidah peacefully passed away at 11.20am yesterday.

A correction to my last entry, Jidah is Habib's mother, not sister. I just learned yesterday that Jidah means 'Moyang' in arab.

May Allah bless her soul, Ameen InsyaAllah.

My new year so far....

2007 came with a BANG as we celebrated Hannah's 1st birthday! Her birthday was on January 1st and she is the first in everything! First child, first grandchild, first great grand child and first niece. Happy birthday!

Then 1 day later, we received the news that Nyai Piah passed away. She was my aunt's mum.

Things didn't seem to get better, 5 days later on Saturday, baby's Habib (grandfather) passed away. I rushed down to the place while baby came down from work. Luckily it was saturday and he was on half day. Habib passed away at 1pm, just as baby knocked off from his shift. It was a long day as baby helped all the way thill the burial ceremony. The next day we had the majlis Tahlil which I only attended in the evening as I was visiting my aunt at TTSH.

One day after that, which was yesterday, at 11.30pm my bro in law, Faizal called us as we were about to go to bed. Jidah, arwah Habib's elder sister sedang nazak. Baby was too shocked to say anything and we quickly rushed to her house.

It was the first time evenr in my entire life that I witness someone nazak. I had mixed feelings...scary, sad, anxious and prepared for the worst. All the signs were there, her feet, her nose and her back bone... but she is still breathing. Gasping for air, feeling thirsty, moaning in pain....MasyaAllah! Seksanya roh hendak berpisah dari jasad!

She was calling for her sister and some other people who were not around anymore. Her son mentioned that earlier in the day she told him that she has forgiven everybody that she knows. We stayed around until about 2am before we decided to leave as we have to work today. Umi just called to say that Jidah is still in the same state as we left her this morning. I guess it's just a matter of time until we receive the news.

On a better note, my mum will be discharged from Alexandra Hospital today at 1pm. She was warded yesterday morning because of her arm. It has been 5 months since she can't really move her right arm because of a slip in the shoulder blade or something.

So... even though 2007 came with a bang and a crash, I hope this year will be a better year and will strengthen our Iman and ourselves to be a better Muslim and a better human being. InsyaAllah.

Couple of the year!

My favourite couple photos!

The X-Files

As I grow older, I have developed fears that was never in me before. I fear driving now. So I guess i'm never gonna take driving lessons anymore. Even when i'm a passenger in the car, I can be totally stressed out at the end of the journey because I can't stand cars squeezing thru, driving very fast, driving very near each other...gawd!

Nowadays i'm thinking alot too. And I mean alot! It's really tiring. I can think of all the petty, unneccessary things on top of the important things that I have to think about. Sometimes I even think too far that it really scares me. Once I let my thoughts flew...and I was already picturing a scene of me when i'm 50. It was a really sad scene. Lately too, I have been having quite a number of "Deja-Vu". And sometimes I can almost tell what will happen next. But i'm not psychic or anything of that sort. I don't wanna be psychic, more stress.

Some of the wierd things happening to me...

1. On Sunday, I was watching a movie when suddenly I felt so lonely. i felt so far away from the outside world. I Couldn't wait for the movie to end! I felt trapped!

2. About 2 weeks ago, baby woke me up from sleep to get ready for work. I woke up and suddenly started crying. I was crying my heart out but I don't know why. After a good 10 minutes of crying, I felt so much better. Till today, I still don't know why.

3. I get very depressed when I see a funeral, be it on TV or just hearing about somebody's death. Even if I don't know that person, say, I read it off the papers, I get depressed.

4. There are also times when I am afraid to fall asleep...afraid that I may not wake up in the morning.

5. Sometimes I get really sad thinking of the day when my husband is not around anymore...so unneccessary!

I should get a hobby. I love to read...but sometimes I get too involved in the book that I start comparing it with life.

My one favourite thing that I love to do when i'm stressed out is going to the children's section of the library. I will pick up a pile of books about princesses, fairies, castles, rainbows and all the lovely things. Then i will sit myself in a corner and bury myself in those books. I love the children's world, where everything is rosy and perfect. I will feel so much better after that. But now...i do not have the luxury to do that...the luxury of time.

Now i'm always busy...busy with this and busy with that. Or sometimes i'm just too tired to do anything. My favourite past time used to be sleeping. I can sleep thru the day if I want to. But now, i don't like to wake up late in the morning. I'll let baby sleep thru while I watch TV. I feel it is such a waste to be spending the Sunday sleeping.

I just realised that this entry is a bit rojak.

I think i'm crazy....maybe I need help.

HELP!